Quotable Quotes

These are some of my favorite quotable quotes.  

"Little by little a little becomes a lot" 

 ~Tanzanian Proverb~

"Put your big girl panties on and deal with it." 

 ~Roz Van Meter~

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending"

~Maria Robinson~

It is what it is.  

~Anonymous~

Don't believe everything you think.  

~Anonymous~

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” 

~Tony Robbins~

Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle. 

~Anonymous~

"The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does." 

~Psalm 145:13~

"Say what you mean and mean what you say." 

~Dr. Seuss~ 

"Do what you know.  You have the knowledge to make the changes you need to live life better by doing what you know." 

 ~Peggy W. Barnes (yep, me)~

Negative Nellies

Today, as I sit in my warm home, looking at the winter weather accumulate outside my windows, I am looking at Facebook posts.  Many of the posts are centered around the weather.  Alabama friends are dealing with an unexpected snow and there are children that cannot get home to their parents, teachers that are stuck all night in the schools with said children and motorists stranded on the road, leaving cars and walking to get home. Here, in Eastern North Carolina, we were told, about this time yesterday, that we could possibly see 12 inches of snow by this afternoon, however, the winter weather, I see, looks very much like ice and sleet with no sign of snow.  

The Facebook posts from Alabama are ones of desperation and frustration since the weather forecasters apparently missed the forecast by calling for a dusting and they received much more than that.  The Alabama people are mad at the weather forecasters for missing the forecast and mad at the school systems for not dismissing earlier. 

The Facebook posts from North Carolina are ones of frustration and irritation since the weather forecasters apparently missed the forecast by calling for 12 inches and no precipitation falling until around 2:00 p.m.  People are therefore frustrated with the school system for calling school off yesterday, for today, based on the forecast and irritated with the weather forecasters for getting it all wrong.  The other Facebook posts are making fun of all of those that have gone to the grocery store and gotten bread, milk and eggs in preparation of being stranded inside, for several days, possibly without power.  

I have only seen one post about the homeless dealing with this incredibly cold weather and that person seemed to be apologizing for spoiling everyone's excitement about the snow.  

All of this to say, I don't understand the negative comments about any of it. 

1.  Weather is unpredictable.
2.  Forecasters are human.
3.  School officials can only go on the best information they are given.
4.  People that aren't used to this weather just want to be prepared....I, for one, do not want to be stuck in my house, for days without food and no I am not used to driving on ice or in snow. 
5.  Negative comments and thoughts just don't change a thing
6.  I would rather people err on the side of caution and safety than not (right Alabama??)
7.  Life just takes unexpected turns and no amount of griping, complaining or wishing it were different is going to change that.  
8.  A little perspective makes a big difference - have you ever had to find a warm place to sleep or food to eat?

So, maybe, I am being a Negative Nellie being frustrated by the Negative Nellies.  I don't mean to be so I am going to sit by my fire, thank God I have food on the table, a roof over my head, and a warm place to be and let the Negative Nellies complain and gripe on! 

P.S. No disrespect to those named Nellie, it just rolled off my tongue with the word negative!

Love/Hate

                                                          Love / Hate designed by Valéry


I have a love/hate relationship with so many things.

1.   I love to eat.....not always really healthy stuff.  I hate the pounds and inches it adds to my       body!
2.   I love to visit family.  I hate the travel it requires for me to get there.
3.   I love to play internet games - yes I am guilty of indulging in Candy Crush and Scrabble!  I hate when I allow them to be time suckers
4.   I love to read.  I hate I cannot stay awake long enough to finish reading.
5.   I love my "smart phone".  I hate the way it can keep me too connected.
6.   I love looking at the deer in my backyard.  I hate they use my bushes and plants as their     personal food buffet.
7.   I love my persistence.  I hate my persistence when it won't quit persisting. 
8.   I love my house.  I hate the upkeep.
9.   I love saying hello.  I hate the fact I have to say goodbye. 
10. I love writing.  I hate when the only thing I can think to write is what I love and hate.   

One Size Fits All?

I know you have seen them.  The shirts, the underwear, and the gloves that state......one size fits all.  This statement is so ludicrous to me.  When I look around the world, I see a lot of shapes, sizes, heights and looks and I cannot imagine the same underwear fitting my bottom as they do other bottoms!  Now, let's just say for a moment that technically they fit.  That is a totally different story about whether I should be wearing them or not!  

Sadly, many of us have bought into the same mentality about a lot of things.  We think others should act like us, think like us, like the same foods, have the same desires, the same interests, and the same attitudes.  I see this all too often in my organizing and life coach business.  Someone says, "but so and so got herself so organized, what is wrong with me?" or " so and so moved on so quickly, why can't I?"  I ran into this the other day when someone looked at me and said "you don't like pancakes?  Who doesn't like pancakes?"  Believe me, I love a lot of foods I shouldn't, but pancakes are not on the list. 

We all have different life experiences, different backgrounds, different lenses from which we look at things, different tastes, different approaches, different personalities,  different values and of course, let's not forget, different shapes.  Life is not a one size fits all and we are not either!  Let's don't forget to look at our life like we do our shape when picking out clothes.  One size does not really fit all and even if it did, it doesn't mean we should put it on.  

Freedom is found in being the best version of you......not the you trying to fit into someone else's life.....it is just not attractive or true when we are trying to be someone or something we are not!

One size does not fit all and God bless those that think it does......not a good look :)

Buying Peace

                                                    (photo from knowing-jesus.com)


I was thinking about many of my de-clutter and life coach clients and taking a hard look at my own life. Many of us, me included, have tried to buy our peace through different things, either through a purchase or alcohol or a drug or a person or a lifestyle.  We have mistakenly thought, when I get this, do this, have this or am at this stage of my life, I will have peace.  

Unfortunately, we end up accumulating too much, being with the wrong person, missing out on the gift of today or dealing with addictions because of that wrong kind of thinking.  

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” – unknown - 

Life will constantly give us opportunities that require us to choose peace in the midst of pain, turmoil or the everydayness of life.  The bottom line, you can't buy peace.  You have to tap into the only true peace through God, the One that gives peace "that passes all understanding".  

Do You Have A Baseline?

I was in a meeting about Social Media the other day and the speaker was talking about having a baseline, starting that day, I needed to write down and know how many Twitter followers do I have, how many people like my Facebook pages and how many Blog followers do I have. Knowing these numbers today and comparing them to the same time next year allows me to know how much my business and social media presence has grown.  When I was 40, I had to have a mammogram so the radiologist would be able to see if there were changes from one year to the next.  When you are in 3rd grade, you take a test at the beginning of the year and the same test at the end of the year to see what you have learned.  How do you know if you've achieved anything if you don't have a baseline?   

I am constantly reminding my organizing and life coach clients to remember where they came from instead of always looking at how much work, organizing, and changing they need to do.  
Many of them have forgotten the reality of their life circumstances or the reality of what their life used to look like.  When you forget, you end of up not giving yourself any credit for your accomplishments, only grief at not reaching your goals.  

Take a baseline today of where you are in your life.  If need be, write it down, take pictures, whatever you have to do to remind yourself of your starting point.  Then write down where you want to go and you can eventually look back and see how far you've come while at the same time continuing to "have faith in how far you can go!" 

To Be Known

“What we hunger for perhaps more than anything else is to be known in our full humanness, and yet that is often just what we also fear more than anything else. It is important to tell at least from time to time the secret of who we truly and fully are . . . because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real thing. It is important to tell our secrets too because it makes it easier . . . for other people to tell us a secret or two of their own . . . ” 

― Frederick Buechner, Telling Secrets

I love this quote from Frederick Buechner.  I think it is so true that we want to be fully understood but.......not really.  We want to be loved for who we are but sometimes we are working so hard at being lovable that we lose ourselves. 

Seeing ourselves for who we truly are, warts and all, is not an easy thing to do.  It can be a painful process because we are exposing ourselves and others to our reality.....not the masks that we so often put on to make ourselves look better and feel better about who we are. 

Keeping it real, being honest, and digging deep; all are part of the process of being known in our full humanness.  

How do you feel about people knowing the real you? 

Finding Clarity in the Clutter

Clarity in Clutter???? How can anyone see or feel anything but overwhelm and a mess when they look at clutter??

Going through the de-clutter process can be very freeing.  It is like a physical weight has been lifted off your body.  While you go through your clutter, piece by piece, bit by bit, you become very clear about what you want to surround yourself with and what you value in your life.  

Clutter clearing is an extremely psychological process and not only will the clutter clear physically but you will see clutter falling away emotionally.  It is amazing the avenues that clutter clogs and the avenues that are opened up, in your physical space and in your mind, when that clutter is no longer around.  

You don't have to be clear about everything right now but the more action you take to clear the clutter from your space and mind, the more clarity you will have.  

The Noticer Returns by Andy Andrews

I am reading a book called The Noticer Returns by Andy Andrews.  This book is all about perspective and how a person thinks.  How do you perceive and think about what is going on in your life?  

I have had the conversation about perspective with a number of people lately.  Perspective and the way you think have more impact on your life than most people ever realize.  In The Noticer Returns, it says "the way a person thinks is the key to everything that follows, good or bad, success or failure.  A person's thinking - the way he thinks - is the foundational structure upon which a life is built.  Thinking guides decisions..  Thinking - how a person thinks - determines every choice."  The author goes on to say "a person's thinking is what he is."  

Proverbs 23:7 says it like this: For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

Your thinking can have such a huge impact on your life. One of the examples, given in the book, is about a man who was in financial ruin and his credit was shot. The main character asks the man, in financial ruin, if an extraordinary life would be to live debt free and of course the man answered YES. The main character (the noticer) explains that the man's circumstances have made it so that he can't get a loan, because of his credit score, therefore allowing him to live without debt. So, he turned what appeared logically to most as a bad situation into a lesson on perspective.

I love this book because it reminds me to notice things in my life that others may overlook and try and look at things in a new way.......a little perspective in life can make life even sweeter!

Seasons.....A Time For Everything

Yesterday, while talking with my sister-in-law, I was reminded of this verse.  What a great verse to remind us all that there are seasons of life and that we cannot stay in one season of life forever.

We all grow older and can't stay young forever. 
We all have very hard seasons of life that we go through and we weep and mourn, then it is time to laugh and dance. 
We all have times we can give more than receive and times when we must receive more than we can give.
We all have times where we must be quiet and other times we know we should speak out 
We all have times we should plant and other times we have to uproot.
We all have times we have to keep things and people and other times we have to let people and things go.  

Seasons are a part of life........you can either fight them or go with the ebb and flow.  My contention is that it is much easier to ride the waves than it is to fight the current.  

How do you feel about the seasons of your life? 

Wedded Bliss? 29 Years Married and Still Going

 

(photo courtesy of  Arvind Balaraman/freedigitalphotos.net)

Today is my 29th wedding anniversary.  29 years ago, when I said "I Do", I had no idea what life would hold in store.  Choosing who you do life with is no small matter.  When you are a wide-eyed, naive 25 year old, you have no idea what you are saying "I Do" about.  Oh, I know.....they give you a heads up in the vows with the words in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer and for better or worse.  However, until you have had to live those words, you have no idea what they really mean.  

"I Do" are two simple words, just three letters, that are packed full of punch.  Those three letters are hard to conjure up when the rubber hits the road and better goes to worse, richer goes to poorer and health moves into sickness. Wedded bliss?  No.  But doing life.....yes.  

I'm certain that 29 years ago I found a great man to do life with.  It hasn't been easy, it hasn't always been fun, but what part of life really is?  What it has been is together.  Together, we have fought, persevered, laughed, romanced and imperfectly loved our way through.  My forever years are his......as long as he will have and hold me.

Ever Had a One Sided Fight?

                                    (photo courtesy of foto76/freedigitalphotos.net)


Several days ago I got my knickers in a knot wondering why someone hadn't done something they were supposed to do.  Then my mind started racing.  Had I done something wrong?  Did this person not want to work with me?  What was I missing?  Why hadn't she called back like she was supposed to?  

Do you ever do that?  Have things running through your head because someone didn't text you back, email you back, call you back, invite you somewhere, posted something on a blog, FB page or Twitter?  

Those are one sided fights and conversations.  You end up pouring all your energy into something that is probably nothing.  The person probably forgot to call, email or text or didn't see the need for a response. The person probably had something else come up or life just got in the way.  Your perception of their post on FB, the blog or twitter is completely wrong based on preconceived notions or ideas you have.  Rationally I know all these things are possibilities, but instead I let my mind get going and before you know it I am in a full out, full blown fight.......in my thoughts and in my head! 

One sided fights are usually really only one sided - the other person has no idea there is an issue of any kind and the fights are usually a huge waste of time and energy.  It pays to take the time to wait some things out, wait to see the real outcome, instead of the imagined outcome in your head, and deal only in facts, not perceived or imagined conversations or emotions. 

So what happened to my one sided fight?  The woman finally called back, her husband had a medical emergency, all was resolved and I felt......stupid.  

Do I Really Want This?

I was sitting here talking with my little sister and nephew about what in the world I was going to write my blog about tonight.  We started talking about "stuff" since we did a thorough clean out of her garage today.   While we were talking I told her about my concept of purchasing......if you buy it you are responsible for it. 

If you buy something you have to consume it, dust it, give it away, store it, or use it.  When you are buying any item, you need to ask yourself, do I really want to be responsible for this thing?   
Being deliberate about your purchases is one of the main steps in the de-clutter process. 

So, as you go through the next several weeks and months, pay attention to what you are buying.....do you really want to be responsible for the thing you are buying?  

Lost Luggage

I traveled by airplane, this week. To get to Birmingham, AL from North Carolina, I had to go through Baltimore.......south to north,north to south. In the process I lost a  of luggage.  There is nothing like lost luggage that puts perspective on what you value. Underwear lost.......replaceable.  My purple sweater I love.......replaceable.  Tennis shoes........replaceable.  Boots......irreplaceable.  When I realized my luggage was lost I could quickly assess and verbalize what I was most upset about losing.  

In your own life, can you assess what you would miss if you lost it and identify what you truly value?  Being clear about those things allows you to surround yourself with only those "things" that you value and love. 

Lost luggage......... A lesson in clarity, perspective and beloved boots. 

Magic Bullet

                                 (photo courtesy of vectorolie/freedigitalphotos.net)

Several conversations, over the last couple of weeks and months, have prompted this post.  People, as a whole, are looking for a magic bullet.  We are all looking for the easiest way to get in shape, lose weight, get organized, feel more peaceful, get through rough times, have the perfect, romantic filled marriage/relationship, raise the perfect, well-adjusted child, the best work environment and a fabulous spiritual journey.

I, being the killjoy that others have claimed me to be, am here to tell you a secret.......there is no magic bullet. I do believe  there are great strategies, out of the box ideas and systems that will help you be successful in all of the above and one should seek out information and knowledge, but you have to be the one to actually implement the ideas, systems and strategies.  The bottom line is 99% of the time it takes hard work, tenacity, and the get-up and go to press in and press on

There is no magic bullet, but you can do what you need to do to have a better day, a better marriage/relationship, a healthier weight, a healthier lifestyle, a more organized home/office, a more well behaved child, a great spiritual life and a better work life.  You would be surprised just how much of your success is up to you.  You just have to do what you already know how to do.  Do what you know.....that is the magic bullet!

P.S. I really am not a killjoy....really I'm not :)

Stubborn Enough

This post will be very short and sweet
Because at 11:00 p.m., I am just now off my feet.
A long day at work and then a 2 hour drive
Made it through, got it done and did survive. 
The writing for the challenge must be done
Even though right now it is not at all any fun. 
But competitive I am and stubborn enough
To do what I need to do, even though it is rough. 
So for today this is all I could do
So good night, sleep tight, that is all, I am through. 

Organizing Crap

Ok.  I know.  Not sure I should have used that title but I just couldn't come up with a more appropriate word.  Not sure what that says about my vocabulary but there it is.  

As a professional organizer I spend a lot of time talking to people about their clutter.  We go through all the reasons they want to hang on to it, all the excuses, the rationalizations, and the justifications.  In the end, I get to the question of do you love it, value it or need it....really?  These are not always easy questions to answer honestly and I get that.  I have a few things I have refused to let go of, just because.  

As a life coach, I spend a lot of time talking to people about their emotional clutter.  We go through all the reasons they want to hang on to it, all the excuses, rationalizations, and the justifications.  In the end, I get to the questions of is it helping you, teaching you or getting you to where you want to be now and in the future.....really?  Again, these are not always easy questions to answer honestly and I get that, too.  I have a few things I have refused to let go of, just because.  

All this to say, what we don't want to do is organize crap.  When you throw a bunch of things, that you have not purposefully decided to keep, into a beautiful container, you are organizing crap, it may be beautiful on the outside but on the inside it is not.  When you throw a bunch of emotional clutter into a beautiful home or mask it with something else, you are organizing crap, pretty on the outside but dark and painful on the inside.  It is time to pay attention to what you are keeping.....physically and emotionally.  Pick up each piece, ask the tough questions and decide if it is helping you or hurting you.  In the end, you want to be left with stuff that is going to propel you forward and give you room to grow.  So, don't postpone those decisions that need to be made so that your life can be lived with purpose! 

30 Day Challenges

                                (photo courtesy of digitalart/freedigitalphotos.net)


I think I have messed myself up.....not the first time.  I have been looking at some challenges that run for 30 days (sound familiar?).  These challenges, on the face of them, seem manageable, important for my health or work goals and necessary.  These challenges seem like the answer for me......I can do any of these for 30 days.  Let's go over the list of the 30 day challenges I have hoped to complete.

1.  30 day squat challenge.....start with 55.....by day 30 you'll be doing 245. 
2   1 mile walk/run every day for 30 days.  
3.  30 day arm toning challenge.  What 54 year old women wouldn't love to trim her wing span?
4.  Ultimate Blogging Challenge....no big deal....blog for 30 days straight. 

None of these seem difficult when in isolation.  However, coupled with my schedule, real life and the other challenges, they have somehow or another dissipated into the can I even start the challenges.  For example:

1.  30 day squat challenge.........started strong.....got up to 100. Christmas came and there went that one!  I am still beating both my son's girlfriends because I started!
2.  1 mile walk/run.......rain, cold equals I don't think so
3.  30 day arm toning challenge.....nope didn't even start it, yet.
4.  Ultimate Blogging Challenge....yep....so far, so good.  5 days and counting.  

So what does all this say.  I either need to set more realistic goals or I really like writing more than I like exercising.  I think I know the answer, however, being the stubborn person I am, I am going to keep trying to start and complete these challenges.  I know I won't be sorry I did. 

Take the Next Step

The above photo is from a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless.  I received her permission to use it because it is a perfect example of a concept I want to write about today......the next step.  

Look around your house today and see how much less cluttered your home would be if you had just taken 1-5 minutes to complete the next step or steps.  The mail would be in it's place.  The dishes would be put away.  The clothes would be in the hamper instead of on the floor.  The coat would be hung in the closet instead of draped over a chair.  The trash would be in the trash can and yes, the new roll of toilet paper would be on the holder. Just being aware and taking those few extra minutes, to complete a task, can make a huge difference in the look and feel of your home.  

I know, we are all in a hurry, at times, but many times we are simply not really paying attention.  We carelessly lay something on a counter, fully expecting to get back to it very soon and then suddenly a lot of those things carelessly laying around accumulate and the job becomes overwhelming instead of feeling manageable.  It is not going to take you any more or any less time to complete the task, so why not just go ahead and take the next steps.  
In the long run it will save you time, added steps and toilet paper will be on the roll when you need it!

Comparison

It is the time of year where everyone is figuring out ways they can do better, be better, and look better.   One of the dangers, in this process, is when we begin to compare ourselves to others.  

It is never a good idea for me to compare this 54 year old body to the 20 something year old body on the workout pictures on Pinterest.  Even when I was the 20 something year old, I didn't have that body and didn't have the discipline to ever achieve that body.  It is never a good idea for me to compare my lived in home to the beautiful homes in magazines. My home is beautiful to me but I have raised two boys, 3 cats, and 1 dog in this house, along with my home being open to neighborhood friends and families.  I don't live in a magazine and never will.   It is never a good idea for me to look at all the DIY ideas and get frustrated by what I haven't done or could do.  There are some DIY projects that intrigue me, but there are some that are just not worth my time and effort.....that is just the way it is.  

For 2014, I want to be a better me, not a better version of anyone else, but be a better version of me.  Striving to achieve some of the things others have achieved is only good when it is something I should be striving to achieve.  I am on my own journey, with my own purpose, with my own body, with my own set of obstacles, gifts and talents.  I do want to do things better this year, but I will set my own achievable, manageable goals. 

Comparison is the thief of joy and I choose joy instead of comparison.  

The Real Truth About Organizing

I am a Certified Professional Organizer.  Here are some truths about me. 

1.   My house is lived in.  Real life people live here so real life needs to happen here.
2.   I have a few stacks.....stacks of books, stacks of paper, and a pile of shoes.
3.   I have mismatched, handwritten file folders
4.   I have dust....more than my fair share
5.   I have a lot of filing that needs to be done
6.   I have too many clothes
7.   My car stays a bit of a mess, not out of control messy but messy
8.   You are likely to find a few dirty dishes in my sink and a counter that needs to be cleaned.
9.   I have unorganized photos
10. I struggle with staying focused.

Here are some other truths:

1.  I can find just about anything I need within a few minutes
2.  My stacks are a bit of my decor.  They are neatly stacked and I know what is in each stack. I      will schedule time to go through the paper stacks at least once a week.  
3.  Mismatched, handwritten file folders don't bother me.....they work.
4.  My house is relatively picked up and I do a quick dust about once a week. 
5.  I file two times a year and because I don't keep so much paper, that works for me
6.  I do have too many clothes....a goal for 2014.
7.  I clean the stuff out of my car once a week.
8.  I always put dishes in the dishwasher before bed or immediately upon waking in the morning
9.  I do have unorganized photos....another goal for 2014.
10.I struggle with focus but work very hard at keeping myself focused, which you can do when 
you talk yourself through and remind yourself to stay on task. 

Organizers are not perfect......we just have tools and systems that will help you get organized and stay more organized.  Real life is going to get us all out of whack, every now and then.  The key is being able to right the ship pretty quickly.    

Getting organized is one thing......staying organized is another but with small, manageable steps you can do both.....albeit not perfectly but excellently!  Now, I have to go wash dishes!

2014 - Not Just Another Year

                                            (photo courtesy of stuartmiles/ freedigitalphoto.net)


Here it is ....2014.  Wow.  The last several years have been challenging, to say the least, and I seemed to go through them in a haze and a fog.  Towards the end of last year, I began to pay more attention to doing things more deliberately and spending more time with family and friends.  This year, I hope to do even more of that.  I don't want 2014 to be just another year. This is my dash!  This is the time between my birth and my death and I don't want the minutes to tick by without me being more purposeful, thoughtful and more mindful of other's needs.  I don't necessarily want to do more.......I just want to do what I do better and be open to where God is leading.

A new year brings new possibilities, new vigor, new outlooks and new opportunities to start over and be a better me!  So, bring on 2014........not just another year for this gal!