I REFUSE

It was November 29th and I was walking around my neighborhood.  As I was walking, I saw several houses completely decorated for Christmas and several neighbors out decorating.  I started hearing this little voice in my head start to clamor for my attention:  

Peggy, you are already so behind.  You don't even have the first Christmas thing out of your attic. 

Peggy, look at how pretty that house looks decorated.  You decorate the same way every year and your house needs painting and your roof needs fixing and you should use fresh greenery and, and, and.......

Well, as I continued to walk I decided to take hold of that voice and replace it with my own real thoughts and truth. 

Peggy, you are not in a competition for how your house looks at Christmas or any other time of the year.   Is your home welcoming?  Does your home have good memories?  

You will eventually get your decorating done, it doesn't have to be done today, tomorrow or even the next day.  There are no Christmas police that will come knocking on your door to ticket you for not being decorated.  

Peggy, your home is not their home.  It does not have to look like theirs, it doesn't have to look perfect; it has to look and feel like you and your family. 

Peggy, stop comparing.  It is a dead end street.

So, all this to say, I REFUSE, to let the joy of Christmas be taken out of me by the voice in my head. I REFUSE to let that voice be in control.  I CHOOSE to listen and think truth and keep my priorities and values in line with who I am, where my life is right now and my schedule. 

Are you comparing yourself with others lives or perceived perfection?  Are you allowing comparison to be the thief of your joy? If so, pull those thoughts out of your head, replace them with truth and live a freer, less stressful and simple life as a result. 

One side note:  I do want to be the Christmas police in February when people still have their wreaths on the door......just saying. 

Math....It Really Is Important

 

The other day it hit me.....a lot of the things I do are based on basic math principles. 

Here are several examples:

• If you want to weigh less you have to eat less junk food and exercise/move more.  

• If you want to have less clutter, you have to bring in less and get rid of more.

•  If you have only so much square footage, you can't fit more than that amount of stuff  into it.

•  If you want to have a successful marriage, you have to spend more time working on it  and less time fussing about it.   

•  If you want to increase the odds of raising responsible kids into responsible adults,  you have to take more time to nurture, teach, discipline and love them and less time  yelling at them, berating them, buying them stuff and expecting someone else to raise  them for you.

• If you want to have financial peace, you have to spend less and save more.

• If you want to be happier, you have to spend less time worrying, fretting and complaining and more time figuring out what you can do to change your situation, changing what you can and developing an attitude of gratitude. 

•  If you want to feel better, you have to spend less time indulging what you know you shouldn't be indulging in and more time on things that are good for you.

• If you want to make a difference, you spend less time on yourself and more time on helping others.

• If you want to live purposefully, spend more time doing the things you are created to do and less time comparing yourself to others.  

More and Less......basic math principles that equal some great results. See, you should have paid attention to that math class in school!  It really is important. 

How good is your math? 

Confessions of an Organizer

I am a Certified Professional Organizer....sounds impressive right???  Well, here is the truth about me:

1.  I can still be a messy Millie.  Check out this photo of my current work area.  Yes, it all makes sense to me, therefore, I am organized but it is still, nonetheless, messy. 

2.  I do not have my underwear folded or my t-shirts folded and stacked like a Banana Republic Store.   

3.  I do not have matching file folders with matching printed labels.  I have file folders (whatever was available in my home or on sale) some have printed labels and some have written labels....whatever was going to get the job done the fastest. 

4.  I do not have my sheets and towels folded in ways that make them stack beautifully and neatly on the shelf.  They are folded but not precisely.

5.  I do not have all my photos in albums with beautiful trim, borders, and extra accouterments to make the photo explode off the page.....nope, many of my photos are still in boxes (by year!) but in boxes.

6.  I do not have my filing done.....much of it is stacked on top of the filing cabinet. 

7.  My laundry room looks like a laundry room.....with dirty clothes and clean clothes commingled, staying enough apart for me to know what's what! 

8.  Sometimes at night, I leave dirty dishes in the sink.

9.  I haven't been able to let go of my kid's rock collection. 

10. I have a basket of shoes, overflowing, by my back door.  I hate wearing shoes and taking them off, the minute I walk in the door immediately relieves some of my stress.  

So, what makes me organized? 

1.  I can find what I need when I need it because I do not have too much stuff and I know where everything is. 

2.   My underwear does not need to be folded because no one else is going to see whether it is wrinkled or not and my t-shirts are folded well enough.

3.  I can find my paperwork when I need it.....again because I don't keep too much and because it is labeled in a way that makes sense to me for retrieval.  Matching folders are not magic....you still have to have a system that makes sense. 

4.  My sheets and towels have worked just fine not being folded perfectly. 

5.  My photos are in boxes, sorted by year and many of my kids' pictures are in an album for them but I still have a long way to go.  I will never be a scrapbooker, the tediousness of that makes me sweat thinking about it!

6.  My filing is not done...one small stack, on top of a filing cabinet is not killing anyone.  Remember it is small because I don't keep much paper!

7.  My laundry room is a place of function, not beauty.  I can get done what I need done very well, which is evident by everyone in my home having something clean to wear. 

8.  Yes, I am just plum tired some days and I leave the dishes in the sink.  The FlyLady would not approve, however, I do take care of it as soon as I wake up.  

9.  I love my kid's rock collection....I have it in the bottom of a vase with beautiful flora coming out the top.  A beautiful decoration for me.....a great way to keep memorabilia merging it with  with my decorating style.  There is nothing wrong with keeping sentimental stuff, there is only something wrong with keeping too much of it. 

10.  My shoe basket is overflowing but at least I have a basket, right?? 

All this to say, I am not perfect, I am not what many would call "organized" because I think they have the wrong idea about being organized.  As Julie Morgenstern (the organizer guru) says:  "Being organized has less to do with how something looks as how something functions".  My house functions great but does not look like I live in a magazine.  Life is busy and life is sometimes very overwhelming.  I work....all the time, I get tired, I get frustrated, I don't have time to focus on my house looking like a magazine.  I do have time to get systems in place, that work for me and my family and I have time to tweak those systems until organizing is just a side note in my life.  

None of this means that I can't organize to make a house look like a magazine because I can. It's just I know what works for me and I know how I think and my house is organized accordingly. 

So there you have it, the truth about this organizer........I guess Martha Stewart will not be calling to hire me any time soon :) 

It's Constant

The word "constant" has been creeping up in my vocabulary a lot lately.  

Talking to mothers about motherhood....it's constant.  
Talking to wives about marriage......it's constant.  
Talking to people about work.......it's constant.  
Talking to people about relationships.......it's constant.  
Talking to people about bill paying.....it's constant.  
Talking to people about staying organized.......it's constant.  
Talking to people about cleaning......it's constant.

So, what does this mean?  Life is constant.  There is stuff in your life that constantly needs attention. 

So, what do you do?  
Take breaks when you can.  
Appreciate the small breaks you get.  
Realize this is what you signed on for when you became a wife, a mother, a friend, a member of a group, a homeowner, an employee.  

Life ends up not really being about you but you in the context of life with all of the other people in it.  It's just how life is so you can fight it, fuss about it, talk about how bad it is, whine about it, cry about it or nag about it.  But a better alternative might be to embrace it, change what you can about it and find things to be thankful in it.  Your approach and your attitude makes all the difference in the world in having a miserable life or a wonderful life......either way, it's going to be constant.  

The Reinvention of Me

Webster's definition of reinvention is:

to make major changes or improvements to (something)
to present (something) in a different or new way

I realize that all of life is about reinventing myself....defining and redefining who I am based on life experiences, inner revelations and maturity.  

I have reinvented myself many times......a child moving into Junior High (that is what we called it back in the day!).  A teen moving into a new high school. A graduate going into college and then into the working world.  A woman becoming a wife and a mother.  A stay at home mom becoming a working woman once again.  A mother moving into empty nest years.  A wife with a marriage that goes through crises and the day in and day out of daily life. Living on my own, living with my husband, living in a community, living with dogs, cats, fish and kids.  

Reinvention is exciting, uncomfortable and necessary as a part of life's journey.  Today, I will see where this reinvention takes me and look forward to working towards a better version of me!

Buying Peace

                                                    (photo from knowing-jesus.com)


I was thinking about many of my de-clutter and life coach clients and taking a hard look at my own life. Many of us, me included, have tried to buy our peace through different things, either through a purchase or alcohol or a drug or a person or a lifestyle.  We have mistakenly thought, when I get this, do this, have this or am at this stage of my life, I will have peace.  

Unfortunately, we end up accumulating too much, being with the wrong person, missing out on the gift of today or dealing with addictions because of that wrong kind of thinking.  

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” – unknown - 

Life will constantly give us opportunities that require us to choose peace in the midst of pain, turmoil or the everydayness of life.  The bottom line, you can't buy peace.  You have to tap into the only true peace through God, the One that gives peace "that passes all understanding".  

Do You Have A Baseline?

I was in a meeting about Social Media the other day and the speaker was talking about having a baseline, starting that day, I needed to write down and know how many Twitter followers do I have, how many people like my Facebook pages and how many Blog followers do I have. Knowing these numbers today and comparing them to the same time next year allows me to know how much my business and social media presence has grown.  When I was 40, I had to have a mammogram so the radiologist would be able to see if there were changes from one year to the next.  When you are in 3rd grade, you take a test at the beginning of the year and the same test at the end of the year to see what you have learned.  How do you know if you've achieved anything if you don't have a baseline?   

I am constantly reminding my organizing and life coach clients to remember where they came from instead of always looking at how much work, organizing, and changing they need to do.  
Many of them have forgotten the reality of their life circumstances or the reality of what their life used to look like.  When you forget, you end of up not giving yourself any credit for your accomplishments, only grief at not reaching your goals.  

Take a baseline today of where you are in your life.  If need be, write it down, take pictures, whatever you have to do to remind yourself of your starting point.  Then write down where you want to go and you can eventually look back and see how far you've come while at the same time continuing to "have faith in how far you can go!" 

To Be Known

“What we hunger for perhaps more than anything else is to be known in our full humanness, and yet that is often just what we also fear more than anything else. It is important to tell at least from time to time the secret of who we truly and fully are . . . because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real thing. It is important to tell our secrets too because it makes it easier . . . for other people to tell us a secret or two of their own . . . ” 

― Frederick Buechner, Telling Secrets

I love this quote from Frederick Buechner.  I think it is so true that we want to be fully understood but.......not really.  We want to be loved for who we are but sometimes we are working so hard at being lovable that we lose ourselves. 

Seeing ourselves for who we truly are, warts and all, is not an easy thing to do.  It can be a painful process because we are exposing ourselves and others to our reality.....not the masks that we so often put on to make ourselves look better and feel better about who we are. 

Keeping it real, being honest, and digging deep; all are part of the process of being known in our full humanness.  

How do you feel about people knowing the real you? 

The Noticer Returns by Andy Andrews

I am reading a book called The Noticer Returns by Andy Andrews.  This book is all about perspective and how a person thinks.  How do you perceive and think about what is going on in your life?  

I have had the conversation about perspective with a number of people lately.  Perspective and the way you think have more impact on your life than most people ever realize.  In The Noticer Returns, it says "the way a person thinks is the key to everything that follows, good or bad, success or failure.  A person's thinking - the way he thinks - is the foundational structure upon which a life is built.  Thinking guides decisions..  Thinking - how a person thinks - determines every choice."  The author goes on to say "a person's thinking is what he is."  

Proverbs 23:7 says it like this: For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

Your thinking can have such a huge impact on your life. One of the examples, given in the book, is about a man who was in financial ruin and his credit was shot. The main character asks the man, in financial ruin, if an extraordinary life would be to live debt free and of course the man answered YES. The main character (the noticer) explains that the man's circumstances have made it so that he can't get a loan, because of his credit score, therefore allowing him to live without debt. So, he turned what appeared logically to most as a bad situation into a lesson on perspective.

I love this book because it reminds me to notice things in my life that others may overlook and try and look at things in a new way.......a little perspective in life can make life even sweeter!