Eating the Elephant - How to De-Clutter Your Space and Your Mind

The thought of de-cluttering leaves many people totally paralyzed and totally overwhelmed. I have many clients, surrounded by clutter, physical clutter and emotional clutter, initially incapable of attacking the piles, stacks, worries and problems.  

One of the first steps I take, when working with a client, is to break things down into smaller sizes.  I take a stack of papers and divide them into categories.  In the closet we look at only the white shirts or black pants and make decisions about just those.  In the box with all the memories, we look at 10 pieces of memorabilia.  When looking at life, worries and problems, we look at next steps.  Breaking the large, gargantuan piles and clutter into small manageable piles, makes it much easier to get through the task. The process seems achievable when you look at a shelf, instead of a room, a cabinet, as opposed to a whole kitchen, a drawer as opposed to a whole chest of drawers, a next step instead of a huge problem, or a 30 day plan instead of the rest of your life.  

What things are overwhelming you that you can break into smaller, more bite sized pieces?  It literally is impossible to eat an elephant any other way than one bite at a time. 

One Main Reason You Can't De-Clutter - Physically or Emotionally

There are few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.

~Andre Gide~

Do you want to know why you can't attack that pile of paper?  Why you can't go through those boxes in the attic?  Why you can't seem to move forward in your life?  Why you can't end that relationship you know you need to end?

All of these actions require several decisions.   The decision to take time to take care of it. The decision to press on through, even when it is difficult.  The decision to see yourself as a person of worth, so you will surround yourself with what you truly value in your life.  However, the biggest decision is to work through the fear.  

The reason, we do not attack or make decisions about many things, is FEAR.  Fear is ever present in the decision making process.  We are afraid of letting go.  We are afraid of getting rid of something we might need.  We are afraid of being alone.  We are afraid of making the wrong decision.  We are afraid of change.  We are afraid of success.  We are afraid of failure. We are afraid of what other people will think of us.  We are afraid we will upset someone. We are afraid we won't do it just right.  

Peel back the layers and at the root of many of your indecision, you will very possibly find fear. When you know what you are fighting, it is much easier to fight back.  

Writing Makes My Butt and Brain Hurt

                         (photo courtesy of Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot/freedigitalphotos.net)

in the last 45 days, I have taken on a lot of writing projects.  I am working on being more consistent with my blog. I am working on some freelance articles.  I am working on an article for a magazine.  I am honing my writing skills and my butt and my brain hurt!

Writing is exhilarating, fun, terrifying, frustrating and challenging all at the same time.  While I am writing my blog, I am trying to think about the message I want to send so I think and I think some more - brain hurts!
While writing the freelance articles, I have to research and write and rewrite - butt and brain hurt!
While writing the magazine article I have to sit and tweak, cut words, change words, edit, edit and edit some more - butt hurts!

Writing is something I really love to do.  As Jeff Goins says, "you are a writer when you say you are."  Well, I am saying I am so what am I doing about it?  Writing and writing some more.  You can't write while walking around so you sit.  Some people can write while standing at a tall desk, but not me!  I would spend more time worrying about the fact that I am standing up all day and then my feet would hurt!  

My butt and my brain are engaged in activities out of the ordinary but that is okay; it is the kind of hurt that you know will all be worth it!  

That Alarm is Going Off - Do You Hear It?

(photo courtesy of Rasmus Thomsen/freedigitalphotos.net) 

When car alarms were first introduced, they were intended to alert someone that their car was being broken into or tampered with.  Now, when we hear a car alarm, we just look around to see what schmuck has pushed the wrong button on his remote clicker or who has tried to get out of a car that has been locked from the outside.  The alarms sound, we turn to take a look, then quickly go back to what we are doing, not really paying attention to it and certainly not suspecting that someone is breaking into an automobile. 

We have some of the same alarms going off in our head.  Those alarms were intended to let us know we are headed in the wrong direction, we are not making a great choice or we need to get out of a situation or relationship.  We hear the alarm, but just like the car alarms, we pay little to no attention as to why the alarm is sounding.  We have an agenda so we quickly go back to what we are doing.  Many of us know so much more than we are willing to admit because alarms have been sounding but we refuse to act on them out of fear of change or out of fear of the unknown. 

What alarms are sounding for you today?  What do you know you should do that you have been unwilling to do? 

Alarms certainly can be annoying but they also serve a very useful purpose, if only we would pay close attention to them.  

Saying Goodbye

As I struggled to write an email to a friend that has been given a short time to live, I am somberly contemplating goodbyes.  
  

I realized, a long time ago, I am not good at saying goodbye.  As a child, I was the girl that was homesick at camp; I cried when my parents dropped me off, I cried when they left after coming to visit, and I cried just about every night.  As an adult, I cry when I am driving away from their home.  I really cried dropping both of my boys off at college and when I had to say goodbye to my beloved dog. I wept, writing an email to a friend prior to her death on August 9th.  I had not seen her in many years but that didn't matter.  There was a heart connection that had never been severed and I hated it for her family, her friends and all those whose lives she touched.  I wept, today, writing the other email to my other friend who will also soon go to be with Our Lord.  I weep for his family, his friends and for the hole that will be left on this earth with him gone.  Recently there have been families that have had to say goodbye to their children, a journey I cannot imagine taking. 

When I work with people, in life coaching and organizing, I realize, we struggle with all kinds of goodbyes. We all struggle to let go of items that represent the past that is no longer.  We struggle with saying goodbye to a relationship. We struggle to say goodbye to bad habits, unhealthy lifestyles, and unhealthy thoughts. We struggle to say goodbye to our comfort zone.  We struggle with parting with memories.  We weep for what was, what might have been and what we sometimes fail to see can be.  '

Goodbye is just hard.  Goodbye is the pain of change.  Goodbye is not just words, it is an unbelievable cry of the heart.  

Goodbye is hard and a period of grieving is an absolute must. But after that period of grieving is over you can choose to continue to grieve what's gone or you can begin to build on what was and continue to try and live your best life now......living with purpose, living with things that bring you joy now.....in other words, living in the present.  

I may never get good at the act of goodbye, but I pray I get better at knowing when to say goodbye, when I need to move on after the goodbye,  and to live the life I have been given.  
  

So for now, I won't say goodbye, I'll say TTFN (ta ta for now).  

The Day That Keeps On Giving

Have you ever had one of those days that is never-ending?  You end up with something to do every single minute of the day; things pop up that you hadn't planned and you don't have time to breathe!  Today was that day!  I have 10 minutes before I am to meet someone for a quick bite of dinner, then I have to go home and finish some work.

SO, when do I have time to blog........well of course, right now. Sitting in a parking space, typing with my thumb on my IPHONE. Is this what I had planned? No! Did I get everything done today I wanted to get done?  No!  But, in reality, that is how life is......fluid, changing and unpredictable.  So, how does one respond to those kind of days? Take the next step, do what you can, the best you can and adjust your sails.  

Today, this is what I could do. Type a blog post on a phone with my thumb. It's not what I planned but it is kind of fun!!

Standing Tall

Yesterday, while shopping at the local Wal-mart, I was walking out with my full cart and saw, from a distance, lights twinkling.  As I moved closer and the lights moved closer to me, I realized the lights were coming from a little girl's shoes as she was skipping through the parking lot, towards Wal-mart, with her mom (assumption on my part).   As I passed her, I said, "my your shoes are lighting up so pretty!".  She looked down, smiled and immediately stood taller, so proud of her shoes and so proud someone had noticed.  

As I walked away, I started thinking about how positive words can make us stand taller.  As Proverbs 18:21 says, "death and life are in the power of the tongue."  We have the power, with our words, to build up or tear down.  That is a power that many people choose to abuse or a power they don't realize they have. 

Pay attention to the reactions of people when you smile at them while looking at their eyes, when you speak words of affirmation, when you offer praise  for a job well done, when you find what was done right instead of what was done wrong, when you offer grace instead of scorn, when you offer forgiveness instead of hate.  

Think about how you feel when you are given positive and encouraging words. You may not be standing tall on the outside but on the inside you are.  May we all spend more time finding ways to make others stand tall by freely speaking positive words.