The Power Of Words

I have always heard the phrase, "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me".  I understand the concept behind that phrase but I know it to be very untrue.  Words have power; the power to hurt or to heal and we have to be so careful how we use them. 

The other day, in a referral group I belong to, we did an exercise.  We each wrote our name at the top of a blank piece of paper.  We then passed that paper to the right for that person to write down one descriptive word about the person whose name appeared at the top of the page.  They then passed the paper to the right of them and it continued through the circle until the paper had gone to each person.

As we each looked at the list of our descriptive words, it was interesting the reaction each person had to their "words".  Since, of course, most of the adjectives were positive, I asked, aloud, to the group, do you believe those words to be true or do you find a reason to negate the positive thing someone has said about you?  

We all have "tapes" playing in our heads.  We all have descriptive words, about ourselves, going around in our mind and in many cases those descriptive words are negative.  Too short, too tall, stupid, slow, clumsy, ugly, fat, too skinny, buck toothed, shy, old, overbearing, failure, loser, poor, unworthy, etc. etc. etc.  So, when we get a list of positive words thrown at us, about ourselves, we begin to attach "yeah, well, but you don't know this about me" instead of taking in those positive words as truth,  We are inclined to believe the negative things, about ourselves, that we "learned" and have taken on as truth as we have gone through life.  

Take some time today to write down the negative beliefs you have about yourself and get them out in the open.  Take the time to think about some of the positive things people have said about you (hopefully you have allowed some of those truths to stay instead of dismissing them all) and begin the difficult but necessary process of replacing those negative words with positive words.  The words other people say to you can have power but the words you say to yourself have the most power.  Those words can propel you forward or hold you back.  

Today, choose to look at who you really are.  If you are breathing, you have purpose and negative thinking just impedes the progress to doing what you are designed to do.  

Words have power.  Now go use some words - positively and powerfully! 

Do What You Know

This is a phrase I often use with my clients and with myself......do what you know.  

Many times we have a lot of knowledge about something but are unwilling to take the steps needed to act on what we know even though it will most often produce positive results.  

Many people I know will sign up for Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutri-System,  buy all the weight loss books they can find and buy every magazine that has "LOSE 10 POUNDS BY TOMORROW".  

Many people, including me, will read fitness magazines, tear fitness articles out of magazines, and my personal favorite is pinning those ab-busting, butt-toning, calorie burning and tricep trimming exercise programs to my PINTEREST Board.  

Many people I know will read relationship book after relationship book and yet 
nothing changes in their relationship.  

One of the things that tickles me, when working with an organizing client, is the number of "GET ORGANIZED NOW" books and magazines that they have stashed in numerous places in the house.  They also have all the "GET ORGANIZED" products, still in their original packaging.

All of this to say, while these things are not bad to read and study,  the question is are you willing to take the next step?  Are you willing to do what you know about losing weight, about working out, about your relationship, about organizing or about any other area of your life?  Many of us want the magic bullet.  We want the formula.  We want the easy way to get some of the hard things done.  

That is why I say, do what you know.  When you start doing some of the things that you know, you will in most cases achieve the results you want.  It won't often come naturally or easily but you will never regret giving it your best shot.  

So what do you know that you aren't doing? I am asking myself the same question today and hopefully will do some of the things that I know that will produce positive results in my own life.  

Bad Habits

I am trying to change a "bad" habit.  On the surface it doesn't look like a bad habit but that is the way it is playing out in my day.  

The habit I am trying to break is getting up in the morning, immediately looking at my phone and checking e-mail, Facebook, Words with Friends and Twitter.  My rationale for doing this is that I will get it out of the way and then I can focus on the things I need to do.  I had read that looking at these things, first thing, was not a good idea.  I had seen the studies about it, I had heard testimonials about it, I had heard all the rationales for not looking at these things as soon as I woke up.  Of course, I thought - I am different; this is what works best for me.  Well, guess what?  I'm not different.  Everything I read, heard and saw was exactly right. Looking at email, Facebook, WWF and Twitter upon waking is a time sucker not a time saver. The other day I realized I was cutting my exercise short or totally out because I didn't have enough time.  I realized I was cutting my quiet time short or totally out because I didn't have time.  The things that are essential for my health and well-being were being cut short or totally eliminated because of the time I was spending looking at all my "stuff" online.  

Today is the beginning of change.  Today I had to intentionally not look at my phone.  I had to intentionally get out of the bed, put on my walking clothes and go for my walk.  I had to intentionally not look at my computer or phone until I had a few moments of quiet devotional and prayer.   I could feel the pull of the phone and the computer.  I could feel myself wanting to just go take a quick peek to see if so and so had returned my email, see what had happened on Facebook, see what Twitter had to say and see if my opponent had seen the mega point word I had scored on WWF.  I knew what I could be doing but I chose to do what I should be doing.  

This is a recurrent theme in my organizing and life coaching.  I am constantly trying to help people do what they should be doing instead of what they could and have been doing.  I am helping people think what they should be thinking instead of what they could and have been thinking.  New thoughts, new habits.......all add up to a better and more purposeful life. 

Now that I'm through with my walk, my quiet time and now my blog post, guess what  I'm going to do now?

Your Kindergarten Teacher Had It Right

Several years back there was a popular book entitled, "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" by Robert Fulghum.  It had things in it like - share everything, play fair, don't hit people, and clean up your own mess.  Today I am here to share another thing you learned in kindergarten that can help you be more organized.

Kindergarten teachers have it right when they divide their rooms into "centers".  You have the make believe center, the reading center, the building block center, the manipulatives center, and the computer center.  In each center you have all the things you need to have fun and learn in that center. 

How does that apply to adult life?  In my den, I have 2 centers that just happen to look like chairs.   If you look in the photo below you will see a chair with a lot of books.  This is the "reading" "life coaching" and "quiet time" chair.  In the basket, to the left of the chair, you will find books I am reading,some of my life coaching reference books and information, my Bible and devotional books.  I keep a highlighter and pen handy for marking up and making notes about things I want to remember. 

In this second picture you will see another chair.  This is where I do most of my writing, social media work, computer work and heavy duty business stuff.   I have a notebook, pen and computer handy around this chair.  Before I sit down, I have a plan of action - What do I want to accomplish when I sit down?  What are my goals for the time I have available?  Who do I need to follow up with and do I need to play my next word in my Words with Friends game?  Yes, my centers are for fun, too!  

Look around your home.  Could you divide your house into "centers" so you can work more efficiently and effectively?  When you decide what areas would be a good center, gather the things you need for that area so that you can get the work done without getting up and down to gather supplies.   After you have figured it out, go thank a teacher for figuring it out first!  

The To-Do List

The dreaded "To Do" list never gets "To Done"!  There is always something on that list and there sometimes seems to be the same things on it over and over. 

As I have dealt with clients and myself, over the years, I have found that one of the problems with the "To Do" list is it is oversimplified.  Take for example the item on my list that says - Plan Reception for Dr. Smith. This is an important event for a person running for a political office so it is something that is high on my priority list and requires a lot of my time and attention. However, it is unrealistic for me to think that I am going to be able to just scratch that off my list, until the reception is over.  One of the  problems with that entry is that it requires numerous steps to complete.  It requires getting hosts, getting invitations printed up and sent out, putting together a viable guest list, and it goes on and on and on.  If you are the type that likes to scratch things off a "To Do" list then you need to break your "To Do" list into smaller action items.

Another issue with "To Do" lists are the sheer size of them.  Anyone that just makes a running list of everything they have to do will easily get overwhelmed by looking at it.   It is just too much to take in.  I suggest each night, looking at all you have to do and moving the most important items to the "To Do" list for the next day.  Not everything has the same amount of importance on your list so learn to prioritize, not by what you want to do but by what you need to do.  

Lastly, break your "To Do" lists into categories.  Many times, when I get overwhelmed by my list, I will break it down into categories - Email, Calls, Shopping List and Errands.  You may have other categories that make more sense to you and that is fine......you need to do what works for you!

I hear all of you screaming, what about a SMARTPHONE or ONLINE "To Do" list.  I will admit that I am still mostly a paper girl, not sure why, I just am, but in another blog post, I will give you some of the most popular online and mobile "To Do" lists.  

Well, better run........I have a reception to plan!  

The De-Clutter Process

De-cluttering can be such a freeing process.  For many people, though, it feels like it is an overwhelming, unattainable goal.  I believe that de-cluttering is essential for living the best life you can live.  

                                           (photo courtesy of Bill Longshaw/freedigitalphotos.net)

Take this room, for example.  This is not any one of my client's rooms as I don't take photos of any of my client's rooms.  This was a stock photo off the Internet but I am using it to prove a point.  How can someone live their best life in the midst of chaos?  How can a child enjoy all they have been given if they can't even get to half of it?  How can you feel like your world is not closing in on you every time you step into that room?  

So, how would I attack a room like this?  A little bit at a time.  I would first go through and see if there is any trash...........yes, trash........you'd be surprised.  Then I would begin to take one thing at a time and decide what to do with it OR I would begin to divide the items into categories.  You could have a category of cars, games, blocks, clothes, art supplies, etc.  Then once it is divided into categories, I would only put a small fraction of the stuff back in the room limiting  the number of items in the child's room. 

The same goes for any adult room.  Take one thing at a time, whether it be a shelf, a drawer, a corner, or the top of the dresser. Divide the items you find into categories and then make good, sound, sometimes hard decisions about whether it is adding value to your life and just like the child, limit how many items you get to "play" with or surround yourself with. 

There are two main things that are hard about the de-clutter process - letting go and pressing on, even when you don't feel like it.  Getting through those two things will open a world of possibilities, allowing you to think about life instead of stuff!  

A Tanzanian Proverb says it best - Little by little a little becomes a lot.  Now go get going, little by little.  

Ultimate Blog Challenge -One Week In

One week into this Ultimate Blog Challenge and I am feeling pretty good.  I have some blog posts already prepared for the days ahead and I am feeling pretty good about myself until...... I count how many more days I have to prepare and how many days are left.    

Then I start to panic.  Then I start to sweat.  Then writer's block attacks with a vengeance.  How in the world am I going to do this? What was I thinking?  I look at my calendar and think, there is no way I can come up with that many thoughtful, well written, witty posts.  YIKES.  

I also start getting overwhelmed about commenting on two other posts, putting my post on Twitter, and wishing I had more time to look at a lot of the blogs being posted 

Then, I stop and breathe.  I have a lot of company when it comes to this challenge.  I have a lot of people, apparently from all over the world, that are feeling the same way.  I have a lot of people that can empathize with the overwhelming wave of emotion that has overcome me.  

So, I do what I tell my organizing and life coach clients.  Breathe, take a little bit at a time and look how far you have come, not so much at how far you have to go.  I also tell them to not give up right before breakthrough and to press on, even when they don't feel like it.  

So, I am going to take my own advice and press on.....doing what I can, when I can, the best I can.  1 week done - that is where my focus is going to be  Then, when I catch myself getting overwhelmed and thinking too far ahead I will focus on my next step, not the next 24 steps.  

How are you feeling about this challenge after the first full week?