10 DeClutter Tips

This is a room in my house, from a couple of years ago, when I had scarcely a moment to breathe. This room, like many of your rooms, became the catch all room; the room I could close the door and ignore. During this period of my life, so much was coming at me, that emotionally I could do little more than eat, sleep, work, and take care of my family the best I could. This room is a clear representation of how emotional clutter can manifest itself through physical clutter. So how did I attack this room? 

 By using several of the  10 DeClutter Tips, 

I was able to restore this room to it's natural order. 

10 DeClutter Tips

1.  Take one area and focus only on that area; it can even be a category.  For example, in my room, I took out all the boxes and either broke them down or put a couple aside to be used later for storage or give away.  Once that was done, I focused on a square foot under the window.

2.  Set aside time.  I had to schedule the time to get this task done......things that are scheduled normally get done. 

3.  Find homes for all the objects.  Many things in my room had homes, I just had not taken the time to put them there.  

4.  Make a decision. "Clutter is the result of delayed decision making".

Be willing to make a decision and quit hanging on to things.....just because. 

5.  Visualize the end goal.  Don't start anything without an end goal in mind.  My goal was to bring order to the room and to be able to vacuum the floor!

6.  Work in short spurts.  Working for about 25 minutes at a time, taking a timed 10-minute break, then working for another 25 minutes will help you not burn out so easily.

7.  Have supplies on hand......garbage bags, a box for items needing 

to be relocated and a box for items to donate.  

8.  Put on some music.  It feels more fun to have some music going.  

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs had it right when they sang whistle while you work!

9.  Don't organize clutter. Organize and label only what is really necessary to keep. 

10.  Don't buy storage containers until you know exactly how much of something you are going to keep and where you are going to store it.  When you buy storage containers, you don't end up using, you have only added to the clutter. 

Now, figure out what area of your home is causing you the most stress and apply some of these tips.  

Today just might be your day for a new beginning!

peggywbarnes@gmail.com

252.670.2951

Don't Think You Have a Dream, Purpose or Passion? No Problem

(photo by stuartmiles/freedigitalphotos.net)

Read these quotes:

Live your dream and share your passion.

Life is short, live your dream and share your passion.

As soon as you start to pursue your dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning. ~Barbara Sher~

Dream big dreams, commit to your true passion and you will learn to fly. 

OK, do you feel like a loser yet?  I know when I read the quotes, I certainly do.  These quotes are not in and of themselves bad and will really resonate with many people, but just not with me.  Why don't they touch my soul?  I'm not a dreamer.  I don't "get" how to find my purpose and passion.  Do you feel that way, too?

Let me back up a little bit.  Maybe I do have dreams. 

• Live out my faith authentically
• Be a good wife, mother, G-mama and friend
• Give to others in need. 
• Be successful in my business
• Take a couple of nice trips a year.
• Spend more time with family. 

Do those count as dreams? They certainly don't seem like the Climb Mount Everest kind of dreams, but is that okay?  In a nutshell, those really are my dreams and my passion.  

I am still not 100% sure what my purpose is, but I think it has something to do with doing the best I can at being the person I am designed to be.  Doesn't sound really profound or powerful, right?   

Some people are born knowing they want to be a doctor, lawyer, or movie star.  Some people know they want to go to Africa as missionaries, bungee jump off mountains and swim with sharks in Australia.  Not me.  Even as a little girl, I never really thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I am almost 100% sure I never dreamed about my dream wedding.  As I got a little older,  I remember thinking I wanted to be like Mary Tyler Moore - I liked that she had a job, had a cool apartment and lived in the city!  I remember thinking in high school my dream job was to be a secretary (we didn't call them administrative assistants back in 1977), but it did not seem like I was shooting for the stars. 

But what about those that want to be a great mother or wife? What about those that want to be a volunteer in a school or hold a small Bible study in their home?  What about those that want to be single and enjoy time with friends?  What about those that like to quietly garden or bake?  Why isn't that enough?  

People mistakenly think they have to have these massive dreams, purpose and passion, when they really might already be living the dream, fulfilling their purpose and pursuing their passion.  You do not have to have big dreams and goals to be who you are designed to be and to make a difference in your corner of the world. Remember, we are all unique, one of a kind people and what may seem small to you may not be.  Our lives and decisions have a ripple effect on those around us whether we know it or not.  We are changing lives by what we say and do whether or not we feel like we are. 

If you do have big dreams, purpose and passion - Go for it.  Live it. 

If you do not have "seemingly big" dreams, purpose, and passion - Live, be and don't be embarrassed.  Be the best version of you and you will have fulfilled the role you have in this life. 

Dream big or not.  Spend time figuring out your purpose or not.  Pursue your passion or not. Whatever you do, live your story and walk on your journey intentionally and deliberately.
That really will be enough. 

Confessions of an Organizer: Closet Clean Out - The Final Results

This is the last post about my epic closet clean out.  

I don't post any before and after pictures on my website because I think they are unrealistic.  Anyone can get an area cleaned out for a period of time, but the most important thing about organizing any area is not to make it clean but to make it organized and functional.  If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times - we don't live in magazines.  We live in houses where real people live, doing real life, so organize your closets, your home, and your life accordingly. 

With all that being said, I am posting my before and after of my closet clean out because I actually cleaned it out and organized it in a way that makes sense for me. 

BEFORE

AFTER

I have never been a person that wanted or needed matching hangers.  For some reason, I was ready to have my hangers look more cohesive.  I did not change them all but I changed most of my pants, dresses, jackets and coats.  The blouses and skirts are still on basic hangers with a few nice plastic hangers mixed in - not the hard plastic, white hangers, but the hangers that are found in department store hangers.  

I will say I don't love the hangers that have the "velvet" feel to them because I am one that will quickly pull something off a hanger and the "velvet" hangers won't allow for that.  

All the "stuff" is off the top of the closet shelf.  I realized it had just become a dumping ground because it was available, out of the way space.  

When you/I have an area that is a dumping ground it is usually because you/I don't want to make a decision about something so you just put it aside to deal with later and later never comes. 

I actually did the whole closet clean out about 1 month ago and it still looks just like this.  There may be one piece of clothing on the floor today, but that is it.  

When you have things organized in a way that makes sense to you and you have less to deal with, it makes it easier to maintain your space.  

There you have it.  My closet clean out.  

What questions do you have? 

What is keeping you from doing your closet clean out? 

I would love to hear how it is going and what problems or successes you are having! 

Did you miss the beginning of this process?  Here are the links to blogs showing how this whole thing transpired! 

Confessions of an Organizer - Closet Clean Out

Confessions of an Organizer - Closet Clean Out - The Process

Clearing Out Those Emotional Closets

I spend a lot of time working with people and their clutter, actually, that is my full-time job as a Profesional Organizer and Life Coach. 

As an organizer, I work with people to get their homes organized.  

As a life coach, I spend  time helping people work through their mind clutter to get them unstuck and moving forward. 

Clutter is not just the stuff we collect, hoard, and store.  Clutter is anything that gets in the way of living our best life now. 

Do you know what needs to be cleared out of your emotional closet?

Jealousy

Anger

Unforgiveness

Perfectionism

Comparison

Resentments

Grudges

Past Abuse

Past Relationships

Guilt

Fear

Your Own Thoughts

Addictions

Old Grief

Unhealthy Relationships

Unfulfilled Expectations

Loss of Youth

Loss of Health

As you can see there are many things that can clutter our lives emotionally.  Many times we are unaware or unwilling to go through the pain of dealing with this clutter in order to move it out of our mind, heart and life.  We hold on to it because it is familiar even though it is unhealthy for us. 

The freedom that comes from letting go of emotional clutter is amazing.  

Don't you want that feeling of freedom? 

Do you want some help dealing with your emotional clutter? 

I will be holding a one day seminar, in New Bern, NC, 

February 13, 2016 from 9-4.  

Emotional Clutter is just one of the many things I will be covering.  

Take a day for you.  

Take a day to take stock about where you are, who you are and where 

you want to go. 

Registration information can be found at:

https://awesomelyfantasticbestlifeeverday.eventbrite.com

Confessions of an Organizer - Closet Clean Out - The Process

In my first Closet Clean Out Blog Post 

I showed you what my closet looked like prior to the clean out.
If you missed the first blog post, click on this link to see how all this began!  

In this blog post, I am going to show you what it looked like as I was organizing and talk (well, write) about the process I went through as I was doing the clean out.

Beware - it's not pretty!  

These are scuff marks on the walls in my closet.  

Who knows how they got there, but after 20 years, they just happen. 

In my first blog post, I talked about all the thread and sewing stuff I had.  

Here it is. Where in the world did all the pink thread come from?  

I pulled out all the drawers and drawer units from the closet.

By taking the drawers out of the closet, I could spread out and could clean the 

baseboards behind the units. (I will not show you a picture of the dust....ugh)

Stacks - short sleeve, long sleeve, workout shirts and workout pants.

I divided everything into categories, then went through each category and purged. 

It is much easier to make decisions when you have gathered all of one

category together to see what you really have.

Hangers - everywhere! 

See all the t-shirts in this picture? These are t-shirts that belong to my boys that

I am saving for a future project for them.  

I'm pretty sure they don't read this blog so I don't have to worry 

about ruining their surprise :) 

I had these t-shirts in bags on my closet floor and they were taking up 

valuable closet real estate. 

Did I mention there were a lot of hangers? 

My pile of give-away clothes.  

At least, 100 pieces of clothing that someone else can use!

I looked at each piece and realized many of them look cute

but don't look cute on me - t-shirts that are too short, jeans I no longer 

like the style, shirts in good shape, still cute, but don't fit, clothing I 

keep passing by day after day and never putting on to wear.

 I then went through my hanging clothes to make decisions about each piece. 

I really wanted to make sure if a piece of clothing made the cut 

that I was actually going to wear it and feel good in it.

                                               

 I could have kept this gem for sentimental reasons, but decided that 

season of my life has passed so it is time to let it go. 

 #VelourChristmasPajamas #instyleyearsago

This jacket may not look like much, but I paid a pretty penny for it, a long time ago.   

Divide the cost of the jacket by the number of years owned - the decision is then easy

to get rid of it.  This does not represent who I am or what I wear anymore! 

Remember - people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. 

The same can be said about the "stuff" that comes into your life. 

Don't hold onto anything that was only supposed to be in your life for a reason or a season. 

There are usually very few things you need for a lifetime. 

There you have it.  My process for de-cluttering my closet. 

Was it tiring? Yes

Was it overwhelming? Yes

Was it manageable? Yes

Was it easy? Parts of it

Were the decisions about what to get rid of easy?  Most of them

Was it worth it? YES

In my next Closet Clean Out blog post, I will reveal the finished product so stay tuned! 

The final blog post has been published - here it is:

Confessions of an Organizer: Closet Clean Out Final Results

The One Thing You Can Do To Make 2016 Great

Have you ever noticed how you wake up one day and a whole month or year has passed! Life is speeding along at an ever increasing rate and you are just muddling through and moving mindlessly from one day to the next.  

So how do you change that trend? 

Live with intention. 
Live deliberately.  
Pay attention to the moments.  
Plan your day.  
Adjust your plan when your day doesn't go as planned.  
Live with gratitude - focus on the good.
Quit sighing so much.
Don't project into the future.
Do things afraid.
Keep the main thing the main thing
Know your end goal in life and live accordingly
Do what you can with what you've got
Quit wishing your life away
Quit waiting for the next "stage" of life.
Make yourself focus

Life can be lived a better way......more intentionally and more purposefully.  You can make that happen, now go to it! 

Are You Listening?

In my business, I have to spend a lot of time listening.......and not talking. Whew, for this magpie that is a difficult thing to do and sometimes I just don't do it as well as I should. However, listening is one of the most important things you can do, day in and day out.  What is the old saying.....that is why God gave you 2 ears and one mouth.  Research says we remember only about 25% of what we hear.....that is not a lot of remembering, therefore that is not a lot of listening.  

Active listening, implies doing just that....actively listening as opposed to passively listening. Active listening is something we all need to get better at doing because we can glean so much more information when we are really listening.  So here are a few tips for you and some great reminders for me!

1.  Focus on paying attention.  I know that sounds silly but you have to be intentional about listening.  

2.  Mirror back to someone what is being said so they can know they are being heard and being heard correctly.

3.  Maintain eye contact, nod, use vocal cues like "nice", "yes", "I see", lean forward a little bit and watch your body language.  

4.  Don't spend your "listening" time figuring out what your response is going to be (although at my age I am afraid I am going to forget what my response is going to be!)

5.  Don't interrupt (yikes - I think I might have that problem but working on it!)

6.  Don't start daydreaming, thinking about your own personal problems, your grocery list, etc.  

7.  Lastly, try to listen "non-judgmentally".  It is difficult to listen without putting your own history and frame of reference on what the other person is saying but this is an important component to listening. 

So, with all that being said, what did I just say??  Were you really listening?  
It is a fun experiment to see how actively you can listen and how actively people are listening to you.  You may find you are just talking to hear your own self talk!  
Now go use those ears and close that mouth!

ADHD and Organizing.....It Can Happen!!

I hear it all the time from clients or prospective clients:  I have ADHD or my kids have ADHD or my husband has ADHD.

I, myself, am convinced I have ADHD and I am a professional organizer! Granted, I am one of 7 children, growing up in the 60's when those acronyms meant nothing.  I am sure I had traits even way back when but had to somehow learn to cope and teach myself a new way to do things.  

Here are five strategies I have learned that have helped this distracted, procrastinating gal.

1.  I talk to myself, not crazy talking to myself, but talking my way through.  I remind myself to stay on task, to stay focused on my goal and to keep pressing on to completion. Sometimes, a task is best completed in small increments, rather than doing it all at once, and if that is the case, then that is certainly how I attack that task.  

2.  I keep a list of what I want to get done that day. I take some time, the night before to write a list, that goes in the car, of errands I need to run.  I write a list of things, that stays in the house, of the things that need to get done at home.  I scratch off what gets done and move forward to the next day's list of what doesn't get done. 

3.  I make sure my environment is not too cluttered.  Clutter, in and of itself, is a total distraction and takes up brain space you need to use to stay focused.

4.  I put everything away by category.  If it is related to laundry, it is in the laundry room.  If it is something that has to be done, it goes in my to do pile. I hang my clothes up by style and color, i.e. black shirts, white shirts, gray shirts, then black pants, gray pants, white pants, etc.  Putting things in categories helps you put things away more consistently and find things more easily. 

5.  I have figured out how much time it takes for me to complete certain tasks and I am realistic about allotting the correct amount of time to get them totally completed.  I don't pretend it is going to take me less time than it normally does and I keep myself focused on the clock so I am not late leaving the house.  

Yes, this ADD/ADHD girl has conquered the beast.....most of the time.  There are times I get bored, distracted and off track but with these strategies in place, it is easy to get back to where I need to be and get things done.  

Math....It Really Is Important

 

The other day it hit me.....a lot of the things I do are based on basic math principles. 

Here are several examples:

• If you want to weigh less you have to eat less junk food and exercise/move more.  

• If you want to have less clutter, you have to bring in less and get rid of more.

•  If you have only so much square footage, you can't fit more than that amount of stuff  into it.

•  If you want to have a successful marriage, you have to spend more time working on it  and less time fussing about it.   

•  If you want to increase the odds of raising responsible kids into responsible adults,  you have to take more time to nurture, teach, discipline and love them and less time  yelling at them, berating them, buying them stuff and expecting someone else to raise  them for you.

• If you want to have financial peace, you have to spend less and save more.

• If you want to be happier, you have to spend less time worrying, fretting and complaining and more time figuring out what you can do to change your situation, changing what you can and developing an attitude of gratitude. 

•  If you want to feel better, you have to spend less time indulging what you know you shouldn't be indulging in and more time on things that are good for you.

• If you want to make a difference, you spend less time on yourself and more time on helping others.

• If you want to live purposefully, spend more time doing the things you are created to do and less time comparing yourself to others.  

More and Less......basic math principles that equal some great results. See, you should have paid attention to that math class in school!  It really is important. 

How good is your math? 

Confessions of an Organizer

I am a Certified Professional Organizer....sounds impressive right???  Well, here is the truth about me:

1.  I can still be a messy Millie.  Check out this photo of my current work area.  Yes, it all makes sense to me, therefore, I am organized but it is still, nonetheless, messy. 

2.  I do not have my underwear folded or my t-shirts folded and stacked like a Banana Republic Store.   

3.  I do not have matching file folders with matching printed labels.  I have file folders (whatever was available in my home or on sale) some have printed labels and some have written labels....whatever was going to get the job done the fastest. 

4.  I do not have my sheets and towels folded in ways that make them stack beautifully and neatly on the shelf.  They are folded but not precisely.

5.  I do not have all my photos in albums with beautiful trim, borders, and extra accouterments to make the photo explode off the page.....nope, many of my photos are still in boxes (by year!) but in boxes.

6.  I do not have my filing done.....much of it is stacked on top of the filing cabinet. 

7.  My laundry room looks like a laundry room.....with dirty clothes and clean clothes commingled, staying enough apart for me to know what's what! 

8.  Sometimes at night, I leave dirty dishes in the sink.

9.  I haven't been able to let go of my kid's rock collection. 

10. I have a basket of shoes, overflowing, by my back door.  I hate wearing shoes and taking them off, the minute I walk in the door immediately relieves some of my stress.  

So, what makes me organized? 

1.  I can find what I need when I need it because I do not have too much stuff and I know where everything is. 

2.   My underwear does not need to be folded because no one else is going to see whether it is wrinkled or not and my t-shirts are folded well enough.

3.  I can find my paperwork when I need it.....again because I don't keep too much and because it is labeled in a way that makes sense to me for retrieval.  Matching folders are not magic....you still have to have a system that makes sense. 

4.  My sheets and towels have worked just fine not being folded perfectly. 

5.  My photos are in boxes, sorted by year and many of my kids' pictures are in an album for them but I still have a long way to go.  I will never be a scrapbooker, the tediousness of that makes me sweat thinking about it!

6.  My filing is not done...one small stack, on top of a filing cabinet is not killing anyone.  Remember it is small because I don't keep much paper!

7.  My laundry room is a place of function, not beauty.  I can get done what I need done very well, which is evident by everyone in my home having something clean to wear. 

8.  Yes, I am just plum tired some days and I leave the dishes in the sink.  The FlyLady would not approve, however, I do take care of it as soon as I wake up.  

9.  I love my kid's rock collection....I have it in the bottom of a vase with beautiful flora coming out the top.  A beautiful decoration for me.....a great way to keep memorabilia merging it with  with my decorating style.  There is nothing wrong with keeping sentimental stuff, there is only something wrong with keeping too much of it. 

10.  My shoe basket is overflowing but at least I have a basket, right?? 

All this to say, I am not perfect, I am not what many would call "organized" because I think they have the wrong idea about being organized.  As Julie Morgenstern (the organizer guru) says:  "Being organized has less to do with how something looks as how something functions".  My house functions great but does not look like I live in a magazine.  Life is busy and life is sometimes very overwhelming.  I work....all the time, I get tired, I get frustrated, I don't have time to focus on my house looking like a magazine.  I do have time to get systems in place, that work for me and my family and I have time to tweak those systems until organizing is just a side note in my life.  

None of this means that I can't organize to make a house look like a magazine because I can. It's just I know what works for me and I know how I think and my house is organized accordingly. 

So there you have it, the truth about this organizer........I guess Martha Stewart will not be calling to hire me any time soon :) 

You Always Have Time.....

When we look at our daily life. the quote, in the photo above, says a lot and can strike a chord in many of us, 

Can you list the things that you say you don't have time to do?  

Exercising
Eating Right
Spending time with our friends, family or spouse
Getting organized

I am not judging or condemning anyone because I am just as guilty.  To find time, for the most important "things" in our life, we have to look honestly at our schedule and see what things we are saying YES to that is causing us to say NO to something else.  The things we are saying YES to may be very noble things, may be good causes, and you may feel like the whole thing will fall apart if you are not a part of it.  However, just because you can do something doesn't mean you should be.  

What I do know about this concept is:  if your health fails - from lack of exercising or not eating right - all of a sudden you find time to deal with it.    If your relationships fail - from lack of attention - all of a sudden you find time for the people in your life.  If crisis mode hits - from lack of organization - all of a sudden you find time to try and get organized.  

What don't you have time for that you know is important?  Are you able to take some hard looks at your schedule and make some hard choices?  If not, eventually, life will do it for you.